First Session!!! aka my testimony of therapy

 I did my case presentation on Monday evening and got much needed feedback about the basics of therapy. 

Christina said that "expectations are the root of all evil." So even in expectations for myself. I can lower them. I can not expect perfection or anything close to it. I can expect a student. I can expect some fumbling. A lot of "I don't knows, let me consult with my supervisor on that." 

I don't need to focus on the flashy modalities or shiny techniques. I can focus on building a trusting relationship with someone with non-judgement, compassion, kindness, empathy, etc. I have mastery in active listening. The things in all our tool belts never leave us/we never take them off/they are ever accessible and free: breathe, senses, feet on the floor. I can help me access the things in the toolbox AND learn to bring tools from the toolbox (EMDR, ACT, etc). I can provide a supportive, calm, patient, presence, a space and time for them, my personhood, my social interaction, my eye contact, my listening ear. I can be their compassionate witness to their life, their experience, their pain. 

Don't work harder than your client. All we can do is plant seeds, they are the ones who implement change and apply principles to reality. Self-compassion is key. 

When we do get stuck and feel helpless ask What do you need from me right now? and What do you want to get out of therapy?

Therapy gives people a change to be vulnerable, unload, be heard without shame, somethings can't be fixed but carried. 

Some resources for grief: recommends attending the national and state conferences AND getting discounted student memberships. Personal experience is not a substitute for competence. 

https://griefclubmn.org/

https://whatsyourgrief.com/

https://www.adec.org/

https://www.mcdes.org/

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